Dating Games

GAMES! Yes I think we all play dating "games" because most of the men I encounter are NOT to be taken seriously. You would be surprised at how many men and women have poor dating etiquette.... You would be surprised at the amount of people that would waste my time if I allowed them!  I'm not old school but there are just some things that shouldn't change. Let me lay down a few ground rules with examples to accompany each.

1. Set your standards in the BEGINNING.

For example women, don't allow a man to invite you on a date and then request or even insinuate that you pay for the meal. We're American, NOT DUTCH.

The more you let a man come over your house, the less y'all will go out. If y'all start off just chilling most likely thats all that will ever happen... no wining and dining but remember thats what you allowed lol. Men,  do not take a woman to Ruth Chris on the first date knowing you can't even afford Apple Bee's every other Friday. Don't start something you cant maintain, consistency is key! If you can only afford TGI Friday's be real because that would ultimately lead to disappointment and thats what you should try to avoid when making dating/relationship decisions. Im not saying a woman cant treat a man to a date, however men should never ask to be treated, and secondly a woman should also beware of a standard she maybe setting!

2. Extend Invites, don't IMPOSE

It is RUDE to invite yourself to some one's house. You wait for someone to extend the invitation or you can extend an invitation to your place. Im noticing people don't think of the how dangerous it is to let people you are newly acquainted with know where you live, male or female. When I first moved to ATL this crazy guy in my neighbor who was obsessed with me popped my tires HA! It wasn't funny then but now I laugh. On another note ladies, you can not let a man that's "pursuing you" get that comfortable with you too quickly. I can sit in my house and cook for my friends, Im not cooking for man that's pursuing me, because Im VERY AWARE of the fact that the less men HAVE to do, the less they WILL do. SET YOUR STANDARDS. 

MEN!! Stop letting women you don't know come to your house! Property damage is REAL when it comes to a bitter bitch. Don't forget about the women who set men up to get robbed, thats very real. Watch out for the people who "accidentally" leave things at your house. Those are the people who need a reason to come back over or want to see if you hid it from the girl you brought in between her most recent visit lol BEWARE Do y'all even think about the CRAZY EX she could have when you invite yourself to a female's house? 

3. Monetary Expectations

I DO think that women are supposed to be taken care of. However, I also believe that a woman should be able to support her own needs and if a man is around he should be willing to do whatever his budget allows him to do to make the woman he is "pursuing" have an easier life. I never understood how a woman could be without something, yet she's in an intimate relationship with someone... thats putting energy into something that doesn't yield a reward. Put energy to positive things to yield positive energy.
I DO NOT think it is ok for a man to not have his own and depend on women for support from the beginning of the relationship or if hardship arises within a longterm relationship, for too long of an extended time period.

A man is supposed to have his own and a man is supposed to provide. It is weak for a man to be so focused on the wrong things in life, when finding balance, making longterm money, and protecting/providing for family are the most important things. Everything else is extra. (SIDE NOTE: Money is important but  a healthy body and mind are also vital. )

*SIDE NOTE*
*I've heard countless men cry about "women being gold diggers" but that's nothing but the pot calling the kettle black. Most men want the temporary fulfillment of digging the gold located within a woman's mine... enjoying every aspect of the beauty of a woman without doing the bare minimum to nourish or feed that woman. I can understand how it is so easy for men to "treat" women the way y'all let them. It starts with YOU. *

The games that are played when you're dating someone can be fun or a headache. 

I use the term game because ultimately, thats what it feels like most times...

Two people trying to figure one another out without giving the other person too much intel on their own lives. I guess its just human nature to want to know as much as you can about others without revealing too much of yourself out of fear of judgment or disappointment even.  My only advice is to put out what it is you want to get back in return. 

Recently I've decided to utilize my time finding balance within myself. I'm aware that I have negative qualities about myself that need to be fine tuned and balanced so that I can become my best self. I am focusing on making my ideas, thoughts, and dreams a reality; I am building a brand. I am aware that the energy I will emit on my journey will attract people to me, however I am now and  will continue to be very selective of the people whom are allowed to directly associate and build interpersonal relationships with. I have some time to play dating games, but unless you're interested in a game of Chess (deep intellectual/monetary conversations), Im not interested. Not interested in Checkers (people pretending to be intellectually/strategically making moves in life), spades (bullsh*tters/sh*t talkers), football (close physical contact lol) ... I think y'all get my weird analogies. 

Basically I just want everyone to love and appreciate yourselves, and ultimately Protect yourselves when playing these dating games. Always make time for yourself because no one can love you better than you. Make time to learn yourself and know yourself before you hold other accountable to do so. Practice the qualities of the person you want to attract. I hope what I've shared sits with some of you, its never too late for growth!

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